But Then, Goodbyes Aren’t Simple

Dear Emma,

Oh, screw simple goodbyes.

Yeah, I definitely can’t leave without rambling one last time. I really don’t think I would be able to do it, and I’m pretty sure you are all used to it by now.

I have been wrestling with this decision all summer, because I was really proud of this blog and most of the things that I’ve created. I’ve spent a year and a half making posts and gathering followers and I’ve really really enjoyed every minute. I just didn’t want to throw it away.

The reason I’m choosing to stop this blog is simple: I don’t feel happy with my blog anymore. I feel too much pressure in what I’m posting, I feel like it’s too open and I can’t be honest. I’ve also unintentionally managed to create my blog around someone else – trust me, the amount of time I’ve been called Emma is unreal. I know that sounds really petty but I would really like to build my own identity.

I’ve met some amazing amazing new friends and genuinely lovely people; this community is a pretty special place here on the internet. I won’t mention many names but I really have made a friend for life in Elm. We’ve been friends for almost two years now and I’ve enjoyed every second. I could say so much about so many specific people because you have all been lovely, but I can’t say some and not others. Everyone here is so friendly, welcoming and damn talented.

Which is why I know I couldn’t leave completely.

Yes, I’m leaving Letters to Emma, but I will be starting another, brand-new blog, probably sometime soon, and that blog will be the one where I can finally talk about what want to talk about, rather than what I think I should talk about.

I am scared, because I will be completely starting again, and who knows how much of a success this new blog will be. I sure as hell don’t.

I won’t be posting the link or URL to my new blog here, because I really am starting again, but I will be telling my blogging friends, and if you are here on WordPress and you know me, I’m sure our paths will be crossing again sooner than you think.

However, if you do see me and think that I’m me, (sorry for the terrible English), please don’t just come out and say it – I do want this anonymity to last for a short while at least. You can message me and ask, but don’t leave it anywhere where everyone can see it.

I just want to say a massive thank you to all of you who are reading this right now, and thank you to all the people who have read, commented on or favourited my posts over the years. You are all such incredibly incredibly lovely people, and I am honoured that you took time out of your lives to read my ramblings on a blog in a small corner of the internet.

It’s weird. I started this blog as a girl of fourteen, not really sure how the world works and a mediocre writer of stories and blog posts.

Now I’m sixteen, I know a little bit more about how the world works, and I’d like to think that my writing skills have improved.

I’m at a new house, heading into a new chapter of my life, and I will always remember this blog as my first, regardless of what else I do in my life. I’ll miss you, everyone. It’s been fun.

Tara, did you really split your goodbye post into two parts just so your post total could reach 100 before you left?

Yes, yes I did.

 

Love from,
Tara

XXX

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Simple Goodbye

Dear Emma,

So, I guess this is it. I’ve decided to stop writing this blog. I’m keeping this goodbye short and sweet, because I’m effectively just coming back to shut things down and then I’ll be gone. In case you haven’t noticed, my return from hiatus wasn’t the most successful thing in the world. Or successful at all.

I’ve enjoyed this so so much, but now this doesn’t really feel right, not like it used to. There’s too much pressure, and I couldn’t do what I really wanted to.

I just want to say thank you, thank you to everyone who supported me in any way. It’s been amazing.

Love from,
Tara

XXX

 

 

 

 

Long Time, No See

Dear Emma,

Wow, it’s been a long time since I wrote those words. What is it, almost three months? That’s definitely way too long.

I’m slightly scared, to be honest, because I’ve basically forgotten what it’s like to blog, and I honestly feel like I’m starting again. Obviously that’s not true, because I still (hopefully) have all of you guys who’ve followed me, but I’m still vaguely intimidated. Especially seeing as I managed to somehow get more than 200 followers during my period of hiatus – thank you guys so much for that – which means that for a lot of you, this is the first time you’re reading a post I’ve written since you followed me.
So the pressure’s on for me.

I’m also slightly concerned about how easy it was for me to go on such a long hiatus; I remember when Elm and I planned our exam hiatus together, but then she lasted about two, three weeks – correct me if I’m wrong – but then I managed to stop for almost three months? And throughout that time, I grew quite unattached to my blog.

I’m not sure why or if I even wanted to, I just don’t think it’s the kind of blog I’d like to have right now. It just doesn’t seem right, and I’ll probably try to figure out what’s missing as best I can. I really don’t want to give up on this blog, because I’m still proud of a lot of my posts, and I definitely like my other blog, because it’s focused on one of my passions.

But I’m also pretty sure that all these doubts have come into my head over the past few months because I’ve forgotten what it’s like to continue blogging, so I’m not going to listen to them and just try to get back into posting regularly and connecting with the community like I used to.

Re-reading my old posts, even the ones from a few months ago, is really strange. I feel like I’ve changed a lot, and to be fair, a lot has happened in my life which I’ll have to talk about at some point soon.

But, I’m back to stay, for now at least.

How have you guys been doing? I’ve really missed the community and I promise I’ll be more active from now on.

Love from,
Tara

XXX

I Tried, I Really Did

Dear Emma, 

I’m back! Did you miss me? 

Probably not, because my so-called “hiatus” lasted the exact same amount of time that I normally leave between posts, so it probably felt like nothing.

I did try to stay on hiatus, I really did. I kept telling myself, “You have exams in nine days that you need to study for, there’s no time to blog.”

Obviously that failed. I can’t not blog, it’s been a year. I’m used to it. 

Besides, it’s my last week in school this year, and it’s kinda freaking me out.

Like, I’m giving up Maths. Maths. A subject I have studied since I was literally four years old, and I’m not going to be doing it anymore.

Also, a lot of people will be leaving this week, and I’m singing in the leaving assembly, and…

There are a lot of things happening this week. A lot of changes.

And then my exams start! Yay…

Anyway, I hope you guys are having a great day, and maybe my hiatus will actually happen by the time my exams actually start.

Love from,

Tara

XXX

Just to Keep in Mind

Dear Emma,

I’m sorry that I’m doing this, but sadly I have to. 

I’m going on hiatus. Not for any personal reasons whatsoever so don’t worry. I still love blogging, I still love this community, but my exams start this week so I can’t promise regular posts, or even posts at all. 

I will probably still be reading and commenting on your posts, but I won’t be writing on here for a while. 

I hope I can write something every once in a while, but I won’t be back to my regular schedule for at least a month. 

I will still be managing the Treehouse because I won’t be writing anything for a while but I am still reviewing and approving guest posts, so please keep on submitting things – everything we’ve had so far is incredible! 

Anyway, if any of you are doing exams I hope they go super well and I wish you lots of luck!

Hopefully I’ll see you soon 🙂 

Love from,

Tara

XXX

Sadly, I Don’t Have a Life

Dear Emma, 

So I was attempting to find something interesting about my life to write about this week, but I actually couldn’t. 

There are about three weeks till exams start, so I pretty much don’t have a life at the moment. 

As I have probably said about a thousand times, I am so incredibly excited for summer. 

It kinda almost dispels the fear I’ve got for exams. 

Nope, not really. 

HOWEVER, I have heard that they are apparently opening a Disneyland in Britain, so I am very excited for that. 

Hope you guys are having an amazing week! 

Love from,

Tara

XXX

The Race

Dear Emma,

Picture me this. We – and when I say we I mean all of us students – have been running in a race for the past few years. Maybe two, three, four even. 

But for once, we’re actually nearing the finish line. This is the point where we can see the goal on the horizon.

However, this is also the point where the panic begins to set in. 

Because between us and our goals there are so many hurdles, higher than anything we’ve ever jumped before. But they are also hurdles that we knew were coming, and they are hurdles we have been running our whole lives to jump. 

And suddenly the regret kicks in, and our pace slows as we think about all those times we stopped running to take a break or enjoy the scenery. 

We think about those times we stopped training because those hurdles seemed so far away, and pangs of guilt hit us like hailstones. 

There were so many opportunities to make those hurdles seem easier to climb. We start to panic, overtraining, over exerting, missing those times when those looming obstacles could be pushed to the back of our mind.

Sadly, we can’t do that anymore.

(To be continued)

Love from,

Tara

XXX

Worth Writing About

Dear Emma,

I’m going back to school tomorrow. Oh joy…

I’m actually feeling pretty apprehensive about the term to come, because at the end of it, I will have finished all of my incredibly important exams, which is both relieving and completely terrifying, because I’m not ready. 

Will I ever be ready? Probably not. Anyway, that’s besides the point.

As I have said, it was my birthday this week, and in the morning (along with many lovely messages from various people both in real life and from the internet) I got an email from Wattpad (side note: I don’t remember ever registering an account on there nor telling them my birth date, but anyway) wishing me happy birthday, and then it said, We hope that it’s a birthday worth writing about. 

Aside from the fact that it was obviously a shameless promo for you to write on their website, it actually made me think. Did I have a birthday worth writing about?

Forget that, do I have a life worth writing about? What does that even mean?

And then I thought, screw you, Wattpad. Everyone has a life worth writing about, and whether anyone else thinks so is completely irrelevant. Because everyone has a story to tell. And maybe not everyone in the universe will listen, but that shouldn’t make a difference. As long as the people that matter think your life is worth writing about, then it is.

Also, I’m sorry that Drag and Drop Stories failed completely this week. Me being an idiot picked a week where I was incredibly busy, had loads of revision to do and started our first huge group project. I will rectify that terrible mistake at some point.

Hope you are all having an amazing week, and good luck to you if you’re going back to school too 🙂 

Love from,

Tara

XXX

Drag and Drop Stories: Series Three – Part Three

Dear Emma,

I actually really enjoyed this prompt. Maybe I’ll continue it, what do you think?

Anyway, it was suggested by Elm and here it is!

Around here, we believe that there isn’t a better feeling in the world than grass underneath your feet. I spent the first ten years of my life shoeless, and only when I started climbing the mountains did my mother spend three hours hand-sewing a pair of simple leather plimsolls, but the only occasions I wore them were those days where I wanted to get away from the valley and explore a little piece of the world. Well, as much of the world as I was allowed to see.

In my grandfather’s words, “I don’t think that you understand, Samantha. I don’t think that you understand what the world has become. You are one of the truly, truly free children in this world. You should feel privileged, my child.” Then he went back to his rocking chair and I soon learned not to ask about what lay beyond the forest because I never got a straight answer, as much as my burning curiosity hated to admit it.

To be fair, it isn’t a tortuous existence. The only thing that wakes me up in the morning is the first light of dawn, but then I’m never in bed until after the moon peaks over the mountaintop. I had to negotiate with my grandfather for at least a week for him to let me stay up until after sunset. But I love it.

It doesn’t normally bother me that I’m the oldest one in the village: I’ve spent endless days alone, wandering through the forests, rescuing bear cubs when they get stuck in trees, climbing the rocky outcrops on the outskirts of the forest and craning my head to try and get a glimpse of what lies beyond. It’s never really bothered me. Until today.

I sat on the topmost branch of an ancient oak, lazily whittling a misshapen chunk of wood into an eagle when a rustling of leaves underneath the tree made me freeze and drop the carving. I heard it roll down each branch until it came to rest on the forest floor.

The first rule of encountering a potentially hostile creature in the forest is to figure out what you’re up against. If it’s something you can run away from easily. Sadly, that’s not really possible at the top of a fifty-foot oak tree. As silently as possible, I slid down the tree one branch at a time. Except I couldn’t do that, because there was an acorn on the third branch from the bottom which I tripped over, causing me to rather ungracefully tumble to the bottom of the tree. Luckily, I caught hold of the bottom branch, so I swung down onto the forest floor and drew my pocket knife from my belt, landing with a thud onto the floor, knife towards the attacker.

Except, it wasn’t an attacker. Standing before me, looking pretty perplexed and holding my eagle, was a teenage boy.

I would very much like to see what happens after that.

Also, I am very excited because it’s my birthday tomorrow, and I went prom dress shopping today…it was an interesting experience.

Anyway, thanks for reading and if you have any more prompts (still don’t have enough) then please leave them below!

Love from,
Tara

XXX

Drag and Drop Stories: Series Three – Part Two

Dear Emma,

I apologise for last night’s story, I know it’s about two milliseconds long and I will go back and edit it when I have time. But anyway, for now it’s on to the next one!

By the way, I do not have seven prompts yet, and for this series to work, I need them so I’d really appreciate it if you guys gave me some otherwise I might have to cancel the series 😦

Okay, I’ll stop being needy and depressing and get back to the story.

Today’s prompt was suggested by Selfie!

“You know we’re going to have to have this conversation at some point,” called the voice from downstairs, but Sam was too preoccupied with darting into her room and quickly shutting the door to notice. There was no way in hell that she was going to sit at the dinner table, going through A-level courses and college brochures with her parents. Simultaneously it seemed like the easiest and the most terrifying prospect. Easy because she could impulsively and stubbornly make a decision, terrifying because it was all too simple to make the wrong decision, and, as she was reminded all too often, her future hung in the balance.

For her, procrastination was an art, and a skill she could demonstrate all too easily by just ignoring the entire world to continue to binge-watch the entirety of Netflix: it was her number one technique to avoiding revision, chores, and responsibilities in general.

She knew she couldn’t avoid her future forever, but she was determined to prolong the fear for as long as physically possible. Sadly, her parents didn’t seem to share the same beliefs. “Sam, come on,” came her mother’s voice from outside the door. “We have to talk about this at some point, you know. You can’t avoid this forever.”

“I can try,” she muttered, grabbing the nearest pair of functioning headphones and shoving the earbuds into her ears, turning the music up as loud as physically possible to drown out her mother’s patient questions.

“Right, come on,” she said, and the door flew open, the foreboding figure of Sam’s mother shadowing the doorway. “Your application is due in in three weeks, and we need to talk about this. Have you even bothered to read through the form?”

Sam raised her eyebrows at her mother’s not-so-subtle accusation, groaned and got up from her bed. 

An hour later, Sam returned to her bed, but the sunlight that normally illuminated her little room had vanished, along with any enthusiasm she had for the next two years of her life. The supposedly helpful conversation with her parents had just made her brain hurt.

She rested her head on a pillow and stared at the ceiling. It seemed horribly unfair that her school, family and general life had prevented her from having too much responsibility and then suddenly given her a thousand at once. 

Exams were looming and it was getting harder to find time to just figure out what the hell she was doing with her life. 

There just wasn’t enough time.  

Okay, that got way too similar to my life, I feel attacked.

Also, I know it’s not the most action-packed prompt, but I’m pretty sure that it’s the most relatable. 

Anyway, hope you liked this, and it would mean a lot if you guys gave me some more prompts! Also, I’ve started a writing blog with Elm, so I’ll leave the link here and in all my future posts if you guys want to check it out!