Apologies and Forgiveness

Dear Emma,

Today I’ve decided to write about something that actually affects me a lot more than I thought it would. 

You see, I’ve realised that I can be a bit of a pushover. I’ve never thought that my self-esteem was ridiculously low: I mean, I’ve had bad days. We all have. But I didn’t really realise how much I used to let people push me around. I’m actually surprisingly angry about it. I agreed with people even though my own opinions contradicted what they were saying. I lied, basically. I lied just so that I wouldn’t cause a conflict.

An example, and a Segway into the second topic in my title, is that I forgive people way too easily. Almost every time that someone has done something to offend me, I’ll instantly forgive them and just continue on. And while I completely understand that forgiveness is absolutely the right thing to do, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it. 

The thing is, if you are too easy to forgive, you can reach a stage in a relationship with someone where they feel like they have the power to hurt you in any way they choose to, and you will always forgive them and never “fight back”. And it is a seriously unhealthy kind of relationship. 

I reached that stage in a few relationships in the past, but thankfully I saw sense and cut them off before something really damaging to my self-esteem happened.

Now, I’ve realised that there are situations where it is appropriate to forgive someone and move on, but there are also situations where the apology really shouldn’t be accepted until an equal, fair understanding between the two people involved has been reached. Especially when there has been a miscommunication or misunderstanding, and no-one has really seen both sides of the argument. 

I’ve also realised that there are many different kinds of apology. There is the genuine sincere kind that comes from a place of caring and emotion and remorse, but then there are the obviously fake “let’s just get over it” kind of apology. The kind that come from a place of selfishness and egotism and just plain meanness. 

If it takes a month for a person to apologise, they evidently don’t care about you enough to resolve your relationship. Also, if they choose to apologise to you, but then say “but”, and list the reasons why they were right to do what they did, that’s not an apology. That’s an excuse. That’s a weak attempt at trying to gain back your friendship.

I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t be a pushover, make sure that you cut unhealthy relationships out of your life, and only accept the genuine apologies. If they don’t know how to apologise, they’re not worth having in your life anyway. Also, there are some conflicts that are definitely worth facing, not avoiding.

And finally, as my mother always used to say, “If you have to tell someone to say sorry, they’re not really saying sorry at all.”

Love from,

XXX

My Summer Bucket List

Dear Emma,

It’s summer! Well, almost. I actually have three days of school left, but for most people, the summer holidays have started.

Pause for party.

 

And that’s all well and good, but once the initial euphoria at your sudden freedom has worn off, a lot of the summer is spent laying down, sleeping and watching Netflix. A.K.A boredom. 

I am definitely a victim of severe boredom in the holidays, and if you’ve seen my earlier post on procrastination, you’ll know that I am definitely not the kind of person who wants to waste their entire summer, especially when I don’t have many left. Scary.

So I’ve made a summer bucket list: 30 items, and I am going to try to complete them by the time September rolls around and I have to go back to school. Hopefully I will complete each and every single one. I’ll use my camera to take pictures of it all and maybe make a scrapbook of my awesome summer. 

Sounds like a plan! Right, let’s get into this list. Apologies, because this is going to be super long.

  1. Go to the pool. Preferably several times, because it’s summer.
  2. Buy a new chest of drawers. This is more of a chore, because my chest of drawers is falling apart, and it’s annoying.
  3. Write a story. Okay, this is probably the most unrealistic of them all, but I don’t care. I want to.
  4. Bathe my guinea pigs. I’ve actually got a friend who promised to help me do this, so I’ll have clean piggies!
  5. Read 5 books. Actually, I’m running out of books to read (uh-oh) any recommendations?
  6. Go to London. Specifically, go shopping, because I never have before. But sightseeing is cool too. It is impossible to go on the London Eye too many times.
  7. Do 5 awesome DIYs. Or more, if I can. Going to be scouring Pinterest and YouTube this summer!
  8. Be able to sing and play guitar to “Safe and Sound” by Taylor Swift. I’m about halfway through learning the tab, and I know the song already, but it’ll be so awesome to be able to do that. Spontaneous performances coming up!
  9. Catch up on my schoolwork. Yes, this is the most boring of the items on my list, but I don’t want to start the new year behind in everything. 
  10. Re-vamp my desk. It doesn’t look very cool at the moment, so it needs a makeover!
  11. Go to Go-Ape. For those of you who don’t know what Go-Ape is, it is a treetop climbing centre. And it’s awesome. Look it up.
  12. Get crafty. A perfect way to spend a day, and you get something cool to keep at the end.
  13. Walk a dog. I love dogs, but sadly I don’t have one. Anyone want to lend me their dog?
  14. Go hiking/walking. It’s actually really fun being “at one with nature”. Also a way to stay healthy and fit. But remember your sun cream!
  15. Have a picnic. Actually this can be combined with number 13 and number 14 for an ultimate country day.
  16. Water fight. Enough said.
  17. Cook/bake tasty things. And maybe share them? Maybe? Okay, probably not.
  18. Compose a song. Partly for myself, partly for my GCSE Music. This is the one thing I actually have to do, because it’s coursework.
  19. Talk to/meet up with old friends. I haven’t seen a lot of people for a long time, and summer is the best time to catch up.
  20. Have a stereotypical sleepover. That’s right, movies, ice creams, spa sessions, terrible hairstyles and lots of talking about boys. Sounds awesome!
  21. Go stargazing. There’s something magical about laying on a blanket and contemplating the existence of humanity. Or just looking at stars is enough.
  22. Make a summer playlist. An essential. Actually, I’m halfway through that one already. Should I put it in a future post?
  23. Have a an epic summer party. The kind that people will be talking about for ages to come.
  24. Go to the beach for a day. It’s not really a summer unless that happens. 
  25. Blog every day for a week. Yup, that’s happening. Look forward to it!
  26. Have a camp out. I actually don’t mind camping, as much as some people hate it. And if you’re in a garden you can always sneak inside when it gets too cold 😉
  27. Learn some new hairstyles. So I can come back to school and wow people with my awesome hair.
  28. Have a photoshoot. It’s both really fun and a way to make sure that memories are preserved.
  29. Buy/wear new clothes. I like having some new things to put in my summer wardrobe. 
  30. Run through a sprinkler. Again, if that doesn’t happen, it’s not summer. 

So there you have it! That’s what I’ll be doing this summer. If anyone asked me to do any of these things, I would literally say yes in a heartbeat. Hint hint.

In other news, what are your summer plans and ideas? Leave it in a comment below and I might add to my list 🙂

Love from,

XXX

The Liebster/Infinity Blog Award

Dear Emma,

Award number two! Yay! Actually, I received this nomination and three others at the same time as I received the nomination for the Beautiful Blogger Award, but I’m spacing them out, just so you don’t get overwhelmed by awards.

Once again, thanks to Elm for nominating me 🙂

So, this award is basically a mixture of the Liebster Award and Infinity Dreams Challenge, which means that I will be answering the questions that Elm set me, and then answering some of my own.

So, let’s-a-go!

Mario

Sorry. Couldn’t resist.

  1. If you could change into an animal at will, would you rather change into a squirrel or a badger? I would probably be a squirrel, because then I could climb trees and have a large fluffy tail. They are just so damn cute. Although after playing Shelter I have a newfound respect for badgers. RIP my badger babies.
  2. What’s the nearest glass thing you can see? (A glass doesn’t count) Hmm, well, I wear glasses, and they are always the nearest things I can see. Does that count? 😉
  3. Use one word, that isn’t a colour, to describe your eyes. Ooh, that’s a tough one. I would say either hazel or cinnamon. Are those boring words? Maybe.
  4. Do you like feeling strong emotions? It depends on whether I feel like I have control over my life at the time of the emotion. If it is extreme happiness, then yes, but extreme sadness or loneliness (sadly I experience both a bit too much) can be horrible after a while.
  5. Why is your blog called what it’s called? Well, when I was thinking of starting a blog, my friend Emma was leaving the school. I figured that I would always feel close to her if I was writing a letter to her every week. It was basically like a little leaving present.
  6. If you were stuck in a lift for 3 hours with only one person, who would that person be? Well, I’m not going to be shallow and say my favourite celebrity *cough* Taylor Swift *cough* and instead I’ll say Elm. We literally talk about so much for so long I would have no problem spending three hours with you 🙂
  7. What’s the most stupid question you’ve ever been asked? Haha, this is an easy one. I once got asked whether England was in Europe. Also, on the same day the same person asked me whether England was a part of the United Kingdom. If you’re wondering, the person asking me was fourteen years old. A pretty serious geography lesson commenced after that.

So now I have to set seven questions of my own.

  1. If you could swap lives with any person that you know for a day, who would it be and why?
  2. If you could swap lives with anyone who has ever lived, who would it be and why?
  3. Describe what you can hear around you right now.
  4. Do you consider yourself to be a selfish or selfless person?
  5. How realistic are your dreams?
  6. If one character from a book could be in the real world, who would you want it to be?
  7. What is the thing you don’t like most about yourself?

And now I have to nominate some bloggers. 

Actually, I’m not going to do a specific list this time, so I nominate all of you lovely people reading this 🙂 looking forward to reading your questions!

Love from,

XXX

Expectations vs. Reality

Dear Emma,

Ah, the brain. Simultaneously the most exciting and terrifying place in the body. You see, there are many, many perks to having an overactive imagination, but there are also a lot of downfalls.

It really helps you to pass the time during a boring class, but then it can crawl into your bed during the late hours of the night and tell you ghost stories. And not the fun kind.

In my opinion, that’s not actually the worst thing the imagination can do to you. You see, sometimes it’s too good.

Sometimes you can spend hours lost in fantasy worlds, or sometimes just the real world, just better. Your crush asks you out, you secure the job of your dreams, and get everything you wish for.

And of course that’s great. Except we can’t live in that world forever. At some point we have to wake up and realise that the world isn’t perfect. It’s far from it.

I can’t tell you the amount of times when I have fantasised a situation in my head, and then when it actually happens it is so different to what I imagined I am instantly disappointed.

I really do need to stop doing that. It is actually quite bad for me, because it stops me appreciating what I have in real life.

It’s nice to imagine, but when reality comes crashing down around you again it can be a bit depressing to realise that life isn’t perfect.

So, just appreciate the things you do have, and don’t let your imagination run away with you too much.

Even if your daydreams involve unicorns.

Love from,

XXX