That Four Letter Word

Dear Emma,

So what did you get in your test?

Sorry. I’ve been getting that a lot lately.

That’s right, it’s exam season. Cue the screaming and hair-pulling. Next week I, along with my fellow classmates, will be entering into an exam hall for our first real exam.

I mean, we’ve had various mocks this year, and in previous years, but this is the first time that something we do will actually impact our lives.

Which is a little scary. Okay, a lot scary.

At this moment I honestly don’t know how I’m going to feel walking into that room, knowing that when I come out I will have either helped to secure my future, or contributed to its destruction.

But I think I might be a little too dramatic. If I go into that room on Tuesday panicking, I definitely won’t be doing myself a favour.

But then telling people not to panic isn’t one of the best ways to stop people panicking. In fact, I find it seriously annoying. Even if I spend every waking minute between now and the exam revising and revising, that won’t help me feel better.

I will feel better because when I sit down at that desk, I’m going to stay as calm as possible, and trust my instincts. If I spend the whole time freaking out because there’s one thing on the test that I’ve never seen before, I’m not going to do anything else.

I find skipping things and going back to them helpful, because by the time I’ve finished and come back, my brain is in a better mindset and I can concentrate better on what I’m doing without freaking out.

And even though this exam on Tuesday is going to be the first of many, it’s actually the one I’m looking forward to the most. Because it’s English, it’s writing, it’s the thing that I love to do. Even if English isn’t your favourite subject, there’s something that you are passionate about. Maybe you don’t have an exam in that subject, but that subject can be the thing that motivates you, and the thing that you know will be waiting for you after this horrible mess is over.

And the grade that you get on a piece of paper doesn’t have to spell out your life.

Love from,

XXX

P.S. Why, what four-letter word did you think I was going to say? 😉

Two Types of Holiday

Dear Emma,

If you live near to where I live, then the British Easter holidays are coming to an end. Tomorrow we will return to school after two weeks of holiday (sigh).

In my opinion, there are always two types of holiday.

First there’s the active holiday, where people try to pack their time in with as many activities as physically possible. I know that several of my friends are definitely fans of this kind of holiday – they always show up on the first day of school with a lot of exciting adventures to share with the rest of us!

I quite like doing activities on my holidays – as I mentioned in my “Procrastination” post, I feel like the day has been “wasted” if I have spent it doing absolutely nothing. Okay, maybe I do spend quite a lot of time doing nothing, but that’s not the point.

But action packed all-day every-day can get seriously tiring, at least I think so.

I spend most of my time on the second kind of holiday, a.k.a relaxing.

You’re probably thinking, Wait, you just said that you think doing nothing is a “waste” of a day, and yet you spend most of your holidays relaxing. 

Yes, you’re kinda right. Some days where I don’t do anything I definitely think that I could have done more.

But that’s not really the kind of relaxing I mean.

I’m talking about the days where I literally have no responsibilities, and I don’t have to feel guilty about not doing anything. Having a friend with you instantly makes it better. There’s no actual pressure to do anything, so what you end up doing seems infinitely better. Even if you’re just sitting outside talking, or walking, or anything really.

I don’t feel like those days are a waste of time. Sadly, I don’t get to have these days as often as I’d like, what with busy schedules etc. and bad weather, but when they do happen I love them.

What about you? Are you a fan of action and adventure in a holiday? Or complete and utter nothingness?

Let me know 🙂

Love from,

XXX

P.S. If you have read this post before today, you may have noticed that I have changed it a lot. That’s because I hated what I wrote, so I decided to change it! See you guys soon 🙂

Photography – The Beginning

Dear Emma,

So, it was my birthday on Tuesday, and my parents got me an AMAZING camera. To be honest, I never really saw myself as a photographer in any way. It just didn’t seem like my style, because I don’t think I’m the sort of person who would look good in photographs. In any way.

My Camera

But we went on holiday this week, and wherever we went, I made sure that I had my camera on a strap around my neck. And I loved it. I was able to get a ton of great footage and pictures that I never would have gotten if I hadn’t had my camera.

Side note: I did, however, manage to use up an entire SD card in three days. Hm. Maybe I should rethink how much I take.

I don’t think I would have ever even considered buying a camera if I hadn’t fallen down the Internet/Youtube/SocialMedia/Tumblr rabbithole, but now it really appeals to me, and so I have been saving up.

I love the feeling of having it with me when we go places, and I’ve taken some really amazing stuff while we were on holiday.

Also, my mum recently bought a Polaroid camera. I LOVE Polaroid cameras: they’re just so vintage and awesome. Also, the pictures look amazing.

Polaroid Camera

I don’t really know why they went out of fashion, they’re so good.

Love from,

XXX

P.S. I’m sorry about the really short post – I have literally just come back from a holiday and I am SO tired, but I didn’t want to miss a week yet 🙂

The Box

Dear Emma,

So, it’s actually a reasonable time of day – in other words, I am not posting at a horrible hour of the night (like I normally do!)

And also, I am finally able to post on my laptop! The Wi-Fi in my room is absolutely terrible so I have to post on my phone, or something like that. But now we have a new router, so I can type from an actual keyboard! Yay!

So we broke up for Easter on Thursday, and I decided that I would dedicate the next week or so to completely sorting out and redecorating my bedroom.

Obviously by that I mean covering my floor in stuff and then looking through all the stuff for six hours. And I only have two days left before all the new stuff for my room arrives and EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE SORTED.

(I don’t think I used the word “stuff” enough in that paragraph.)

Whenever anyone goes through their things, they will inevitably find something that they never realised they had lost, and then spend hours using it and marveling at its amazingness. At least that’s what I did.

I found an old box – before everyone starts picturing a beautiful old box like this:

Old Box

It was a battered old cardboard box with High School Musical pictures.

HSM Box

I was so cool.

But inside that box I found a bunch of old pictures, artwork and general things from when I was in primary school.

For example, a weird parody of “The Twelve Days Of Christmas,” where I changed all the words to different kinds of food. I was a cool child.

But then I stumbled upon some old photos of me that I took on a disposable camera when I went to Wales with my school for a week and then got SO INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATED. You know why?

THERE WERE NO PEOPLE IN THE PHOTOS. AT ALL.

I spent an entire week taking photos of empty rooms.

What was I thinking? Oh, when I get older and look back on these photos, I will really appreciate all the pictures of the rooms that we stayed in (after we had cleared everything up to leave) and the outside of the buildings.

I never thought, Maybe I should take pictures of me and my friends having an amazing time so I can look back and appreciate the memories.

Congratulations, ten year old me.

That made me really sad. Because I could have looked into that High School Musical box and found a bunch of amazing pictures of all of us having fun on the trip – meaning that I could remember that trip as being amazing.

And then I realised that this is true for most of my life. I would love to be one of those people that have so many old photos, boxes upon boxes of awesome stuff to reminisce about. But that hasn’t happened so far.

So from now on, I am going to document my life. Simply because it looks fun, and I want to have some things to remember when my childhood is long over.

I encourage you to do the same. 🙂

Love from,

XXX

P.S. Happy Easter everyone! I have been eating a lot of chocolate today 🙂