Insecurities

Dear Emma,

First of all, I want to apologise for being thoroughly depressing in my last post. I was just in that kind of mood, and it happened to be the time where I make a new post.  So you were treated to me rambling on about some sad deep topic and instead of something that you might actually want to listen to. You’re welcome. ๐Ÿ™‚

I was just feeling a bit insecure. Well, more insecure than I normally do.

Everyone has some kind of insecurity in their life. I guarantee it. That person that you see at school or at work, who chats and laughs, is generally interesting and looks like they’ve got their life together? Chances are that they’ll come home feeling insecure about something. Thoughts are going round their head, “Why did I say that?” “They must have thought that I was crazy.” “They must have noticed that massive spot lurking on my forehead, or the fact that my hair looks like I’ve stuck my finger in a plug socket.”

I could go on. But you get the idea.

Everyone feels like that at some point or another. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

I think it must be a good thing, because that means that everyone is going through the same stuff, and everyone understands. I mean sure, we might be insecure about different things, but the hollow worrying feeling in your stomach is the same, whatever you’re worrying about.

Me? I’m insecure ALL the time. My family puts so much crazy pressure on me sometimes, and obviously I have the friendship dramas that I mentioned in my last post but I won’t talk about because it will last for ever.

Everyone makes mistakes. I have made several today, and I’m sure that I will continue to make mistakes for the rest of my life. But that isn’t so bad. Because we all learn from our mistakes.

If you’re feeling a bit insecure, I promise it isn’t the end of the world. We all have good days and bad days, it’s just a part of life.

And just remember, this too shall pass. ๐Ÿ™‚

Love from,

XXX

The Friend Crisis

Dear Emma,

I’m having a bit of a friend crisis. Before everyone starts jumping to conclusions, let me clarify what I mean.

I’m not saying that I don’t have friends. I do. At my school I am part of a group of 12 – we hang out together every day, and birthday parties are a regular thing. But lately something’s started to change. Suddenly, within our group, new groups, pairs, are forming. I can almost predict where people will sit when we have lunch, because these pairs always sit together.

They’ll talk and laugh about some inside jokes, they’ll discuss their plans for meeting up on the weekend, they’re constantly referring to something that I’m not in the loop for.

And I feel a bit out of it.

When we all eat lunch as a massive group, we sit on chairs in a circle, and so when I’m surrounded by these pairs of best friends, I’m being blocked off on both sides and suddenly have no-one to talk to.

I mean sure, I’ve had best friends in the past – in primary school (around age 10-11) I had a best friend: we were inseparable. But then I moved away to a different school, and we’re definitely not as close as we were. It saddens me. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Now, I’m in a group, but not really in, if you know what I mean.

I haven’t been invited round to someone’s house in God knows how long, and the deepest darkest secret that I feel like I can tell is this blog. Sad, isn’t it?

I spend every day surrounded by people who are planning their holidays together, stealing their phones and creating weird Snapchat stories, and just generally being best friends.

And then there’s me.

Is it me? Am I socially awkward? Am I not interesting enough? Have I accidentally done something to simultaneously offend all of them? I don’t know.

But I’m spending a lot of time feeling alone at the moment. I want a best friend, someone who really knows me, someone who won’t judge me, someone I can go on holiday with, call up every day and still talk for hours and laugh about inside jokes, someone who expects me to come to their house without even asking.

Someone I can tell my secrets to, and I know they would never tell a soul.

Let me tell you now, if you have one of these friends, they are amazing. They are 100 times better than a million good friends.

And so I guess I’ll have to keep searching.

Keep your best friends close to you for as long as you can. Life is pretty lonely without them.

I hope you find what I’m saying helpful in some way :’)

Love from,

XXX

Making a Room More Homely

Dear Emma,

We’re in the run-up to Easter now, which probably means that I should have given something up… Oh well.

But that means that we’re also in the run-up to my birthday. Gifts can be sent to…

I’m kidding ๐Ÿ™‚

This year I’ve decided that I want to redecorate my room as much as I can withoutย spending a fortune.

Because I don’t feel like my room is quite homely enough.

Anyone’s bedroom, especially a teenager’s bedroom, should be a place where they feel safe, a place where they can express themselves. And right now I’m not feeling it.

I visited my friend’s house the other day and I instantly fell in love with her room. She loves drawing, so her artwork was all over the walls, and she had a string of fairy lights hanging from her bed.

Room goals. Right there.

So I’ve made a list of all the things I think will make my room more homely, and I thought I’d share them with you.Fairy Lights

1 – buy some fairy lights. You have no idea how amazing those little things will make your room look.

2 – new posters. This is essential for me, as I still have my old posters of puppies and falcons (I was a weird girly-tomboy hybrid child) up on my walls.

3 – get a new lampshade. Well, I say new, but there isn’t a lampshade in my room at the moment. Just a weird naked bulb. It would make the light seem so much nicer.

4 – Move my corkboard. Right now it’s so high on the wall that I barely use it. I want to be able to use it for actual useful things.

5 – Get a rug. This thing would actually be so useful as the floor in my room is currently SO boring. And also it doubles up as a fluffy place to sit.

6 – Put up some bunting. Simply because it’s absolutely adorable.Bunting

So there you have it! My suggestions for how to make a room more homely. If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them in the comments below ๐Ÿ™‚

Love from,

XXX

Procrastination

Dear Emma,

Procrastination. I’m sure we’re all guilty of it.

That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. No human being on Earth has the self control to never indulge themselves, never take a little break, never postpone important things.

Except maybe monks. I’ll have to ask them for their secrets. Probably involves getting up at the crack of dawn and meditating for six hours. Hmm… Maybe not.

I happen to be a master of procrastination. I’m not saying that like I’m proud of it. Picture me cringing. Yup, that’s how proud I am of my procrastination skills.

For example, I spent almost all of this weekend doing absolutely nothing. Personally I blame the Internet.

I’m sure you might be thinking, why is that such a bad thing? Doing nothing is great, when you can. But the thing is, I’m a bit of a perfectionist. But I’m a lazy perfectionist. So when I’ve reached the end of one of my days of nothing, I start to think,ย Oh no, I could have sorted out my wardrobe, I could have written something, I could have done something productive.

And this basically results in me thinking that I’ve completely wasted the day, and my life will be over.

Don’t worry. I get over it pretty quickly when I realise that I couldn’t be bothered.

But this all comes about because procrastination is so unbelievably easy. For example, I open up a webpage to look at an article for my English homework, see an interesting article, and two hours later I’m looking at a YouTube video about how to make sushi. Well, maybe not sushi, but you get my point.

Ugh, I’m even procrastinating now! My Facebook just dinged so I’m back after a ten minute browse.

To be honest, I don’t think that I’m going to overcome my procrastination problem anytime soon.

So goodbye responsibilities, hello Internet!

What about you guys? Are you guilty of procrastination too? Or are you just lying ๐Ÿ˜‰ ?

Let me know in the comments!

Love from,

XXX

Dear Emma…

“I’ve decided to start a blog. This blog.”

Dear Emma,

This is it! You’ve been badgering me about it for ages, and here it is, my blog. Hello world!                                                                                                                 Correction: Hello, extremely small corner of the world! If you’re just randomly browsing the Internet and have stumbled across this blog, welcome!

I’ve always been told by my mother to start a diary. She says that I’ll be able to look back on it when I’m older and reminisce about my teenage years, “The best times of my life.” But I can never get beyond the first few pages. The imperfection of it annoys me and I just rip it out. Blogging seems so much easier, simply because I am allowed to edit things.

And also, I love the idea that other people are able to read this. Emma, you’re the figurehead of my blog. But I’m talking to you, even if your name isn’t Emma. Talking to someone else is a much more appealing idea that talking to yourself.

(And let’s face it – talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.)

So I’m starting a blog!

Honestly, I’m scared. Normally I would never be confident enough to say things like this out loud. These are going to be my deepest, innermost, and most importantly, 100% honest thoughts on this blog. But that’s what I like about it. There’s no pressure to be anyone but me. My fashion sense isn’t the best, and my hair is an absolute nightmare, I’m self conscious about my teeth, and I seem to be able to find holes in the ground to fall into even when they aren’t there.

(I’m keeping it anonymous for obvious reasons ๐Ÿ™‚ )

I am a huge fan of creative writing, and I might be posting small excerpts of things that I’ve written. I also love music, and I’m trying my hand at songwriting.  But mostly I’m just going to be posting about life. Life, and how scary crazy wonderful it is.

And I would absolutely love it if you came along for the ride.

Even though my dream is to become an Internet sensation, I’m not expecting my little blog to go viral. But I know we can become a small community. I will love listening to what each and every single one of you has to say.

Teenagers, especially teenage girls, have so much pressure on them to be a certain way. I don’t want that to happen here. I won’t judge you, I will accept you for who you really are.

And I hope you won’t judge me, and you will accept me for who I really am.

I’m going to try to post weekly updates, but if I don’t, I’m sorry in advance ๐Ÿ™‚

Thank you for reading, if you are still reading.

I would love to hear about you in the comments below!

Love from,

XXX

 

P.S. If you can name the quote from the beginning of my post, let me know in the comments below ๐Ÿ™‚